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CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE BEER DRINKER
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the
beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look
into
the glass and think about the workers in
the brewery and all of their hopes and
dreams. If I
didn't drink this beer, they
might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I
say to myself, "It is better that I
drink this beer and let their dreams come true
than be
selfish and worry about my liver."
--by Jack Handy
I feel sorry for people
who don't drink.
When they wake up in the morning,
that's as good as they're going
to feel all day.
--Frank Sinatra
An intelligent man is sometimes forced
to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
--Ernest Hemingway
A woman drove me to
drink and I didn't
even have the decency to thank her.
--W.C. Fields
When I read about the evils of
drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman
24 hours in a day,
24 beers in a case.
Coincidence?
--Stephen Wright
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep,
we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
-- Brian O'Rourke
Beer is proof that God loves
us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in
the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant
you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with
pizza.
--Dave Barry
If you bought
$1000 worth of Nortel stock one year ago,
it would now be worth $72.
If you bought $1000 worth of Budweiser
(the
beer, not the stock) one year ago,
drank all the beer,
and traded in the cans for the nickel deposit,
you would
have $79.
My advice is to start drinking heavily.
Remember "I" before "E", except
in Budweiser.
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support
Group.
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